Dear, dearer, dearest ones,
I've been home for more than two months now and reality has taken it's toll. I am no longer euforic to see friends family or my city, work has resumed it's boring rythm and it depresses me that the skies are grey all the time. So I have decided to move away. Move to a place where the sun lives... Also a place not too far and not too close ... oh dear lord what a choice to make :-)
So I've decided to move back to Barcelona, my beloved barna. I wish I could say I am euforic again but I'm not, I am scared shitless that it won't work but I'm gonna do it anyways.
It's a wild plan, finishing my studies there, in a language I speak but not on an academic level..
We will see ...
I will keep you posted ...
Love and light
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
This is goodbye ...
GOODBYE INDIA !!!
I am leaving tonight on a jetplane don't know when I'll be back again but it doesnt really matter because I am taking you with me in my heart!
I am anxious to see my family again, my dog, my friends, 'my' kids, but above all, my land, mi tierra.... No place like home ...
Lover, be well in Kashmir, be careful but enjoy with all your senses and we'll see eachother when the time is right.
Goodbye India, goodbye beautiful enchanting country. I will never forget the lessons you gave me, the friendships you offered me, the patience you tought me and the love you planted in my heart, like a seed for it to grow strong. Thank you India!
Thank you all the people I have met on this trip, you all contributed to my making.
Thank you Paco for loving me the way you do. That is irreplacable. I love you too soo very much. Thank you Damian for you love and patience when I needed guiding. Thank you Wishnu for you kind heart. Thank you Ari, Carlos, Isa, Albert, Xavi, Alex y Sonia for the friendship and the lessons... Thank you Rachael for taking my hand when I was lost. Thank you Ally for being strong when I was not. Thank you Michael for your kind heart and open arms so I could cry without fear of judgment. Thanks Pete and Cris for honesty and company. Thank you Nadav for being my friend and taking care of me. Thank you Alecse and Charlotte for being the beautiful shining people that you are. Thank you Alba for you smile and your strong belief in doing good, you are a walking example to all. Thank you Mariana for your patience and forgiveness. Thank you Kfir for teaching me a lesson about myself in being the mirror that you are. Thank you Rob for coming out to see me and showing me a part of you I hadn't seen before and I'm sorry it didnt work out the way you planned it. Thank you Pieter en Inge for your patience with me, you friendship and you rocksolid belief in loving-kindness and honesty. You are forever in my heart.
Thank you to all the people back home that wait for me time and time again and are patient with me hopping all over the planet. My grandma for her unconditional love and all the practical things she does for me. Thank you Mama for you heart which is always there full of unconditional love. Thank you Dad for being who you are .. someone to lean on and a beautiful person. Thank you Papa for keeping me upto date and assured that all in life is fine, you optimism is irreplacable. Thank you Jeroen for being my friend. Thank you An for always being there even though we have no contact. Thank you Ulla for the same thing, some friendships dont need many words. Thank you Laura for sharing with me, always, and being my friend I love you so much. Thank you Katia, for being who you are, an amazing mom for your kids, a good friend and a loving person. Without you, at some point, I would have gotten lost in grief. And thank you kids, Sebastian and Nikki for awakening in me what was asleep, for you beautiful smiles and sweet cuddles that were always with me and that I could think about when I was lonely. Thank you for being such wonderful children!
So see you all soon I am off now before I miss my flight ...
Be well every one, love and light to you all!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am leaving tonight on a jetplane don't know when I'll be back again but it doesnt really matter because I am taking you with me in my heart!
I am anxious to see my family again, my dog, my friends, 'my' kids, but above all, my land, mi tierra.... No place like home ...
Lover, be well in Kashmir, be careful but enjoy with all your senses and we'll see eachother when the time is right.
Goodbye India, goodbye beautiful enchanting country. I will never forget the lessons you gave me, the friendships you offered me, the patience you tought me and the love you planted in my heart, like a seed for it to grow strong. Thank you India!
Thank you all the people I have met on this trip, you all contributed to my making.
Thank you Paco for loving me the way you do. That is irreplacable. I love you too soo very much. Thank you Damian for you love and patience when I needed guiding. Thank you Wishnu for you kind heart. Thank you Ari, Carlos, Isa, Albert, Xavi, Alex y Sonia for the friendship and the lessons... Thank you Rachael for taking my hand when I was lost. Thank you Ally for being strong when I was not. Thank you Michael for your kind heart and open arms so I could cry without fear of judgment. Thanks Pete and Cris for honesty and company. Thank you Nadav for being my friend and taking care of me. Thank you Alecse and Charlotte for being the beautiful shining people that you are. Thank you Alba for you smile and your strong belief in doing good, you are a walking example to all. Thank you Mariana for your patience and forgiveness. Thank you Kfir for teaching me a lesson about myself in being the mirror that you are. Thank you Rob for coming out to see me and showing me a part of you I hadn't seen before and I'm sorry it didnt work out the way you planned it. Thank you Pieter en Inge for your patience with me, you friendship and you rocksolid belief in loving-kindness and honesty. You are forever in my heart.
Thank you to all the people back home that wait for me time and time again and are patient with me hopping all over the planet. My grandma for her unconditional love and all the practical things she does for me. Thank you Mama for you heart which is always there full of unconditional love. Thank you Dad for being who you are .. someone to lean on and a beautiful person. Thank you Papa for keeping me upto date and assured that all in life is fine, you optimism is irreplacable. Thank you Jeroen for being my friend. Thank you An for always being there even though we have no contact. Thank you Ulla for the same thing, some friendships dont need many words. Thank you Laura for sharing with me, always, and being my friend I love you so much. Thank you Katia, for being who you are, an amazing mom for your kids, a good friend and a loving person. Without you, at some point, I would have gotten lost in grief. And thank you kids, Sebastian and Nikki for awakening in me what was asleep, for you beautiful smiles and sweet cuddles that were always with me and that I could think about when I was lonely. Thank you for being such wonderful children!
So see you all soon I am off now before I miss my flight ...
Be well every one, love and light to you all!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Friday, June 6, 2008
India in all its glory !
McCleod Ganj, where the Dalai Lama lives :
Isn't this just the funniest picture!
Inge opt dak van den otto:
Do I really ....?
The Himalaya's :
Getting out of Rishikesh and the plains of Uttaranchal. Byebye beautiful country:
McCleod Ganj , and my guesthouse somewhere in the right of this picture:
It is exactly what it lookes like:
Malari Malari we love you sooooo:
Malari:
Malari the morning we left:
Roadblock!
Love you all!
xxx
Isn't this just the funniest picture!
Inge opt dak van den otto:
Do I really ....?
The Himalaya's :
Getting out of Rishikesh and the plains of Uttaranchal. Byebye beautiful country:
McCleod Ganj , and my guesthouse somewhere in the right of this picture:
It is exactly what it lookes like:
Malari Malari we love you sooooo:
Malari:
Malari the morning we left:
Roadblock!
Love you all!xxx
Monday, June 2, 2008
Reminicing
1 june 2008, McCleodGanj, India
Listening to the rain outside my window I am counting the days left for me in this beautiful but tiring country. Having met Rachael again, with whom I shared a room in Mumbai, made me retrace the steps of this trip in my mind and consider that all that has happened to me, good and bad, has its value.
The start of this journey wasn't very auspicious, with my entire bag being stolen. Having been in Mumbai for two weeks, acclimatizing both fysically and mentally, and also thouroughly enjoying my time there, I realized that I hadn't come all the way to India to stick around in the most European city of the nation. I also remembered the words of a friend: "don't get stuck in Mumbai too long, It's easily done"
So I set out to get a trainticket, the first of may to come and, as ever, it would probe to be more than just a pop-around-the-corner-to-the-ticketoffice-and-purchase-your-ticket. I was sent from one office to another, from one ticketcounter to another and overall was treated like a criminal in a high-risk-prison.
But I got it and two days later I was gonna set off what I came to do: living my 15 year old dream and travel in India.
Learning-money they call it in the busyness world. When you enthousiastically throw yourself in an adventure and then loose everything (go bankrupt). My lesson cost me about 2000 euro, more than my entire budget for 4 months of travelling.
I could have followed the ambassadors advice and 'cut my trip short' but I was determined not to let this thief steal my dream as well.
And with a temporary 4 page green passport, a handwritten paper that stated my visanumber and about 30000Rs sent to me by my grandma via Western Union, I bought a planeticket to Goa, missing out on what is supposed to be the most beautiful trainride in India...
Listening to the rain outside my window I am counting the days left for me in this beautiful but tiring country. Having met Rachael again, with whom I shared a room in Mumbai, made me retrace the steps of this trip in my mind and consider that all that has happened to me, good and bad, has its value.
The start of this journey wasn't very auspicious, with my entire bag being stolen. Having been in Mumbai for two weeks, acclimatizing both fysically and mentally, and also thouroughly enjoying my time there, I realized that I hadn't come all the way to India to stick around in the most European city of the nation. I also remembered the words of a friend: "don't get stuck in Mumbai too long, It's easily done"
So I set out to get a trainticket, the first of may to come and, as ever, it would probe to be more than just a pop-around-the-corner-to-the-ticketoffice-and-purchase-your-ticket. I was sent from one office to another, from one ticketcounter to another and overall was treated like a criminal in a high-risk-prison.
But I got it and two days later I was gonna set off what I came to do: living my 15 year old dream and travel in India.
Learning-money they call it in the busyness world. When you enthousiastically throw yourself in an adventure and then loose everything (go bankrupt). My lesson cost me about 2000 euro, more than my entire budget for 4 months of travelling.
I could have followed the ambassadors advice and 'cut my trip short' but I was determined not to let this thief steal my dream as well.
And with a temporary 4 page green passport, a handwritten paper that stated my visanumber and about 30000Rs sent to me by my grandma via Western Union, I bought a planeticket to Goa, missing out on what is supposed to be the most beautiful trainride in India...
Friday, May 30, 2008
Incredible India !
Mams, Paps, Dad, Mami, and to whom it concerns,
Ge moet ni zo ongerust zijn ik ben ik het meest nonviolent land ter wereld, alles gaat hier rustig afgezien van het verkeer dan natuurlijk da is gewoon vierkante chaos!
Even een update he:
Rob is vertrokken uit Rishikesh op 13 mei, mij een beetje wezenloos achterlatend. Het is raar om 3 weken met iemand samen te reizen (vooral met een man in India, wow fantastisch ik werd gewoon genegeerd heerlijk rustig haha arme Rob die werd stevig lastiggevallen natuurlijk) om dan ineens helemaal alleen te zijn. Dus ik heb zo nog een dag of 2 rondgehangen in Rishikesh niet goed wetend waar ik heen wou. Toen kreeg ik ineens bericht van Pieter en Inge dat die niet zo heel ver van mij zaten (lees: 15uur bus) dus ben ik daarheen gegaan. Die zaten in het rustigste dorp dat ik in India al gezien had en daar zijn we dus een week gebleven. Unfortunatly geen internet voor mij. Ik heb al een aantal mooie kamers gehad in India maar deze was veruit de mooiste en vooral de gezelligste ... open haardje IN de kamer. Gezellig en warm..
Van Kasaar Devi zijn we naar Kausani getrokken wat een paar uur verderop is en ab-so-luut prachtig, met zicht op sneeuwtoppen en al. Het was er heerlijk en de kamer was prachtig, een rond hutje met een soort mezzanine waar de matras op lag een een plafond waar je uren naar kon kijken, echt heel mooi. Daar zijn we een dag of 5 gebleven (geen internet) hebben veel gewandeld. Het is er zooo mooi we zijn helemaal dwars door een nationaal park gestapt!
Vanaf Kausani hebben we een hele dag gereist met af en toe transport wat niet mag namelijk een truck (de rijkelijk versierde Goods Carrier camions) Die mogen helemaal niemand meepakken maar als hunne camion leeg is willen die natuurlijk ook wel wat bijverdienen. Het was een bumpy en trage rit maar wel uniek!
Na die dag reizen zijn we aangekomen in Joshimath en van daar zijn we naar een plekje gegaan dat Malari heet (nee niks malaria) De Pieter had da op de kaart gezien en for some reason MOEST hij daar naartoe (en gelijk da't em had!!)
Malari ligt op 65km van de Tibetaanse grens en is het laatste dorp voor het 'nomandsland' dat de gevoelige grensovergang markeert... Malari heeft 400 inwoners (al leek het meer op 100) en krijgt echt bijna nooit toeristen over de vloer (en als ze al komen is het om trekkings te doen zeker niet om te blijven). Er is geen electriciteit en geen zendmast voor gsms. Het is een andere wereld. Alles traditioneel met veel handen en voeten wegens geen engels natuurlijk. Malari ligt op 3200m hoogte wat verdomd koud is s'nachts maar een panorama om U tegen te zeggen. Wij waren de "Guests of Honour" in het dorp waar (toeval bestaat niet) net de jaarlijkse Ramayana werd voorgedragen. Drie avonden van intens kakofonische drama op een podium met vreselijk geluid (1 generator en hele hele hele slechte boxen en al ever schriel gezang) Maar het was heerlijk, grappig en wij werden op handen gedragen...
In het begin voelden we ons een beetje "niet op onze plaats" alsof je een onaangetaste wereld binnendringt en daar je stempel achterlaat. Maar na 5 dagen Malari hebben we allemaal (incluis dorp) een traantje moeten wegpinken toen we doorgingen. Zittend op het dak van de jeep, bovenop onze bagage werden we uitgewuifd door mensen die zichtbaar aangedaan waren, net als wij. Ik ben al een paar keer triest geweest dat ik ergens door moest gaan maar dat is allemaal niks vergeleken bij het vertrek uit Malari.
Na uren first class vision te hebben gehad op het dak van de jeep ineens boem pats, landslide voor onze neus. de weg helemaal geblokkeerd met stenen (grote stenen, geen kiezeltjes he) Maar India is vreselijk efficient (al lijkt het niet zo) dus wij met onze rugzak over de stenen gekreuffelt om aan de andere kant gewoon een volgende jeep te pakken. Na nog een paar uur en een lunchke later afscheid genomen van Pieter en Inge. De rest van de dag bus jeep en meer bus .... pfff ... om dan uiteindelijk om 23u s'avonds terug in Rishikesh aan te belanden haha. Kamertje genomen in hetzelfde hotel als twee weken ervoor en de dag daarna hup de trein op richting Dharmsala....
Vanmorgen om 3u aangekomen maar ik was volop aant slapen toen er iemand aan mijn voet trok en zei "your station madam" Damn damn damn snel snel snel rugzak losmaken over al die stomme mensen stappen die in de doorgang liggen te pitten, de mannen die lekker de deur liggen blokkeren aanmanen sneller de deur open te doen en dan patat ....
Ik weet niet wat mij bezielde (het zal het uur geweest zijn) maar ik ben dus uit een reeds rijdende trein gesprongen. Ik ben letterlijk op het perron gedonderd, midden tussen een groep mensen die zich een ongeluk schrokken.
Mijn elleboog ligt helemaal open (daar gaat de cursus Tabla) en is fameus gezwollen. En mijn bips en mijn enkel zien zo blauw als de lucht en ik voel mij ni helemaal ok. En voor ene keer was het eens allemaal aan de linkerkant van mijn lijf te doen.
Maar ik ben ingechecked in McCleod Gangj, op 10km van Dharmsala (met hulp van een Franse jongen die ik aangesproken heb in Dharmsala) in een fijn en proper hotelletje voor 4euro per nacht (met prive badkamer en een DOUCHE met WARM water maakt da mee!!)
Ik kom net van de Ayurvedische dokter die mij natuurlijke pillekes heeft gegeven tegen de zwelling en een vies drankske om mijn lijf weer in balans te krijgen na de choq (en ik was wel degelijk in choq zelfs de rickshaw-wallahs pakten mijn zak over en hebben mij thee gegeven op het perron om te bekomen)
En nu ben ik dus in het dorp waar den Dalai Lama al jaaaren woont maar hij is ni thuis, I checked. Het is prachtig weer, er zijn weer ongelooflijk mooie bergen rondom mij, het is hier rustig en alles wat ik nodig had ligt hier klaar voor mij. De bedoeling is om hier een dag of 4 te blijven en dan naar Amritsar te gaan, de Golden Temple van de Sikhs gaan zien. Ik wil ook het belachelijke machtsvertoonspectakel gaan bewonderen aan de Indisch-Pakistaanse grenspost vlak bij Amritsar. Da is naar 't schijnt onweerstaanbaar grappig!
Na Amritsar naar Delhi en van Delhi naar Bombay. Visa regelen en dan hup weer naar huis. Mijn ticket is ergens 25 of 26 ik weet het niet meer helemaal zeker moet effe checken bij Katia. Dus Dames en Heren sjot uw welkomst-comite maar al in actie want ik kom eraan!!
En hoeveel ik ook van dit prachtige land ben beginnen houden ik ben toch blij om weer naar huis te gaan. Ik mis jullie allemaal erg, ik mis mami's groene tuin en de rust die ik alleen daar kan voelen omdat het mijn thuis is, ik mis mijn familie om wie ik mij geen zorgen maak maar die ik liever dicht dan ver heb, ik mis Antwerpen en de schelde, ik mis mijn vriendinnekes, ik mis 'mijn' kindjes (Gelukkige Verjaardag NIKKI schatje, de dikke plakzoenen en de cado's komen later he!) maar bovenal mis ik mijn hondje, mijn trouwste compagnon en de onvoorwaardelijkheid van onze liefde.
Ja het is tijd dat ik terug kom...
Tot binnekort allemaal, het ga jullie goed. Veel liefs vanuit het mooiste en meest diverse land dat ik ooit al gezien heb. Love and light....
Catherine
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ge moet ni zo ongerust zijn ik ben ik het meest nonviolent land ter wereld, alles gaat hier rustig afgezien van het verkeer dan natuurlijk da is gewoon vierkante chaos!
Even een update he:
Rob is vertrokken uit Rishikesh op 13 mei, mij een beetje wezenloos achterlatend. Het is raar om 3 weken met iemand samen te reizen (vooral met een man in India, wow fantastisch ik werd gewoon genegeerd heerlijk rustig haha arme Rob die werd stevig lastiggevallen natuurlijk) om dan ineens helemaal alleen te zijn. Dus ik heb zo nog een dag of 2 rondgehangen in Rishikesh niet goed wetend waar ik heen wou. Toen kreeg ik ineens bericht van Pieter en Inge dat die niet zo heel ver van mij zaten (lees: 15uur bus) dus ben ik daarheen gegaan. Die zaten in het rustigste dorp dat ik in India al gezien had en daar zijn we dus een week gebleven. Unfortunatly geen internet voor mij. Ik heb al een aantal mooie kamers gehad in India maar deze was veruit de mooiste en vooral de gezelligste ... open haardje IN de kamer. Gezellig en warm..
Van Kasaar Devi zijn we naar Kausani getrokken wat een paar uur verderop is en ab-so-luut prachtig, met zicht op sneeuwtoppen en al. Het was er heerlijk en de kamer was prachtig, een rond hutje met een soort mezzanine waar de matras op lag een een plafond waar je uren naar kon kijken, echt heel mooi. Daar zijn we een dag of 5 gebleven (geen internet) hebben veel gewandeld. Het is er zooo mooi we zijn helemaal dwars door een nationaal park gestapt!
Vanaf Kausani hebben we een hele dag gereist met af en toe transport wat niet mag namelijk een truck (de rijkelijk versierde Goods Carrier camions) Die mogen helemaal niemand meepakken maar als hunne camion leeg is willen die natuurlijk ook wel wat bijverdienen. Het was een bumpy en trage rit maar wel uniek!
Na die dag reizen zijn we aangekomen in Joshimath en van daar zijn we naar een plekje gegaan dat Malari heet (nee niks malaria) De Pieter had da op de kaart gezien en for some reason MOEST hij daar naartoe (en gelijk da't em had!!)
Malari ligt op 65km van de Tibetaanse grens en is het laatste dorp voor het 'nomandsland' dat de gevoelige grensovergang markeert... Malari heeft 400 inwoners (al leek het meer op 100) en krijgt echt bijna nooit toeristen over de vloer (en als ze al komen is het om trekkings te doen zeker niet om te blijven). Er is geen electriciteit en geen zendmast voor gsms. Het is een andere wereld. Alles traditioneel met veel handen en voeten wegens geen engels natuurlijk. Malari ligt op 3200m hoogte wat verdomd koud is s'nachts maar een panorama om U tegen te zeggen. Wij waren de "Guests of Honour" in het dorp waar (toeval bestaat niet) net de jaarlijkse Ramayana werd voorgedragen. Drie avonden van intens kakofonische drama op een podium met vreselijk geluid (1 generator en hele hele hele slechte boxen en al ever schriel gezang) Maar het was heerlijk, grappig en wij werden op handen gedragen...
In het begin voelden we ons een beetje "niet op onze plaats" alsof je een onaangetaste wereld binnendringt en daar je stempel achterlaat. Maar na 5 dagen Malari hebben we allemaal (incluis dorp) een traantje moeten wegpinken toen we doorgingen. Zittend op het dak van de jeep, bovenop onze bagage werden we uitgewuifd door mensen die zichtbaar aangedaan waren, net als wij. Ik ben al een paar keer triest geweest dat ik ergens door moest gaan maar dat is allemaal niks vergeleken bij het vertrek uit Malari.
Na uren first class vision te hebben gehad op het dak van de jeep ineens boem pats, landslide voor onze neus. de weg helemaal geblokkeerd met stenen (grote stenen, geen kiezeltjes he) Maar India is vreselijk efficient (al lijkt het niet zo) dus wij met onze rugzak over de stenen gekreuffelt om aan de andere kant gewoon een volgende jeep te pakken. Na nog een paar uur en een lunchke later afscheid genomen van Pieter en Inge. De rest van de dag bus jeep en meer bus .... pfff ... om dan uiteindelijk om 23u s'avonds terug in Rishikesh aan te belanden haha. Kamertje genomen in hetzelfde hotel als twee weken ervoor en de dag daarna hup de trein op richting Dharmsala....
Vanmorgen om 3u aangekomen maar ik was volop aant slapen toen er iemand aan mijn voet trok en zei "your station madam" Damn damn damn snel snel snel rugzak losmaken over al die stomme mensen stappen die in de doorgang liggen te pitten, de mannen die lekker de deur liggen blokkeren aanmanen sneller de deur open te doen en dan patat ....
Ik weet niet wat mij bezielde (het zal het uur geweest zijn) maar ik ben dus uit een reeds rijdende trein gesprongen. Ik ben letterlijk op het perron gedonderd, midden tussen een groep mensen die zich een ongeluk schrokken.
Mijn elleboog ligt helemaal open (daar gaat de cursus Tabla) en is fameus gezwollen. En mijn bips en mijn enkel zien zo blauw als de lucht en ik voel mij ni helemaal ok. En voor ene keer was het eens allemaal aan de linkerkant van mijn lijf te doen.
Maar ik ben ingechecked in McCleod Gangj, op 10km van Dharmsala (met hulp van een Franse jongen die ik aangesproken heb in Dharmsala) in een fijn en proper hotelletje voor 4euro per nacht (met prive badkamer en een DOUCHE met WARM water maakt da mee!!)
Ik kom net van de Ayurvedische dokter die mij natuurlijke pillekes heeft gegeven tegen de zwelling en een vies drankske om mijn lijf weer in balans te krijgen na de choq (en ik was wel degelijk in choq zelfs de rickshaw-wallahs pakten mijn zak over en hebben mij thee gegeven op het perron om te bekomen)
En nu ben ik dus in het dorp waar den Dalai Lama al jaaaren woont maar hij is ni thuis, I checked. Het is prachtig weer, er zijn weer ongelooflijk mooie bergen rondom mij, het is hier rustig en alles wat ik nodig had ligt hier klaar voor mij. De bedoeling is om hier een dag of 4 te blijven en dan naar Amritsar te gaan, de Golden Temple van de Sikhs gaan zien. Ik wil ook het belachelijke machtsvertoonspectakel gaan bewonderen aan de Indisch-Pakistaanse grenspost vlak bij Amritsar. Da is naar 't schijnt onweerstaanbaar grappig!
Na Amritsar naar Delhi en van Delhi naar Bombay. Visa regelen en dan hup weer naar huis. Mijn ticket is ergens 25 of 26 ik weet het niet meer helemaal zeker moet effe checken bij Katia. Dus Dames en Heren sjot uw welkomst-comite maar al in actie want ik kom eraan!!
En hoeveel ik ook van dit prachtige land ben beginnen houden ik ben toch blij om weer naar huis te gaan. Ik mis jullie allemaal erg, ik mis mami's groene tuin en de rust die ik alleen daar kan voelen omdat het mijn thuis is, ik mis mijn familie om wie ik mij geen zorgen maak maar die ik liever dicht dan ver heb, ik mis Antwerpen en de schelde, ik mis mijn vriendinnekes, ik mis 'mijn' kindjes (Gelukkige Verjaardag NIKKI schatje, de dikke plakzoenen en de cado's komen later he!) maar bovenal mis ik mijn hondje, mijn trouwste compagnon en de onvoorwaardelijkheid van onze liefde.
Ja het is tijd dat ik terug kom...
Tot binnekort allemaal, het ga jullie goed. Veel liefs vanuit het mooiste en meest diverse land dat ik ooit al gezien heb. Love and light....
Catherine
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Calcutta for the last time
Dearest,
I have been here far too long. I know I should go, I know I should move on...
People have asked me so many times what the most difficult part of traveling is. I can state without any hesitation that it is saying goodbye. To people, to places, even to the security of your own little room that comforted you for so many days.
As nostalgic as I am I feel I must go. It is no longer morally acceptable for me to linger on in a city where most people come to volunteer in the many charity houses. Doing nothing makes me feel of an elite I do not wish to belong to.
Every other person asks me where I volunteer. I have to say 'nowhere'. It makes me feel ashamed and a disaster-tourist. If you've ever been to Calcutta you will know what I mean. But I was not in any state of mind to help others when I came here and now it is too late to start. I have been in India for nearly two months and only now, here, finally, I feel lighter. The burden I was carrying around is slowly evaporating. The pain of my past is healing. And the illusion I once thought was the truth is now clear. It was never what I thought it was, it was never going to be that either. It just took me about two years to see that. Sometimes we only see what we want to see.
When one sets off to travel in a manner called backpacking, and with no other plan than to go with the flow, one must also have a certain state of mind. If you want to dive into another world and see it without judgment, feel it without fear, hear it without finding it deafening, taste it without getting sick, in short, just live it, one must have peace of heart. Calmness is necessary as it stills the mind and gives it a platform on which you can walk quietly.
This deep-rooted trust in life is necessary to overcome the society-cultivated fear for all that is unknown. A fear that, if you are not careful, takes hold of your heart and deprives you of your vision and rational thinking.
When I arrived I was euphoric, a few weeks later my first test on this trip came. Everything of material value was stolen from me. Whether it was just a matter of bad luck or stupidity (I'll leave that in the middle) it did get me out of my comfort-zone of illusion. It put me back with my feet on the ground with smack that hurt my entire being. After that everything became blurred by hatred, self-pity, pain from the past and fear of the future and in the present I was constantly balancing on the edge of reason. I spent weeks in what could qualify for paradise but I didn't see it.
I couldn't understand how so much bad luck can happen to one person. Although I am young and healthy and apparently have nothing to complain about, my family is not. If you care about someone than their struggle is your struggle.
As for my own life .. I seem to make the wrong decisions all the time leaving me with an amount of time wasted on things that have appeared not worth fighting for. I have loved deeply and I have believed blindly. It was one way traffic as it appears. I have recently learned a hard truth: people lie. And you never suppose it's those who are closest to you ! They say all the right things to gain their position, then use your kindness as their ammunition, to shoot you down in the name of ambition...
Now I need to learn how to forgive. Him and me.
Calcutta is good for healing. It puts things in perspective when you see my neighbours struggling for their space at night and know that when the rain came in the middle of the night last night, they are running right under my window to find shelter, probably being too late, leaving them to sleep on moist mats under damp blankets. They only eat once and will not take any food from you because their stomachs will grow as will their hunger. But they are lovely people, who work and live like us, fall in love and marry and love their kids like we love ours. They are kind and undemanding, funny and sweet and are always ready to offer you a cup of tea. But when curfew arrives and you have to go back to you room in the hotel you feel uneasy and angry at a world that is big enough for all of us but badly divided by a few of us. Other than that they are just the same.
My travels will take me up north. To the mountains and to fresh air. Closer to Nepal, which I cannot enter because I have no more visa since my passport was stolen. But I will be able to feel it, so close, in the Shiwalik hills at 2200m. Mount Kanchenjunga with his 8591m towers over the valley.
It's the worlds third highest peak. On clear days one can see the Mount Everest as well. Speaking of prominent greatness.
I send you all my love, missing you at times wishing some of you were here to share this beautiful land of extremes with me. One day, one day ....
Love,
Cath
I have been here far too long. I know I should go, I know I should move on...
People have asked me so many times what the most difficult part of traveling is. I can state without any hesitation that it is saying goodbye. To people, to places, even to the security of your own little room that comforted you for so many days.
As nostalgic as I am I feel I must go. It is no longer morally acceptable for me to linger on in a city where most people come to volunteer in the many charity houses. Doing nothing makes me feel of an elite I do not wish to belong to.
Every other person asks me where I volunteer. I have to say 'nowhere'. It makes me feel ashamed and a disaster-tourist. If you've ever been to Calcutta you will know what I mean. But I was not in any state of mind to help others when I came here and now it is too late to start. I have been in India for nearly two months and only now, here, finally, I feel lighter. The burden I was carrying around is slowly evaporating. The pain of my past is healing. And the illusion I once thought was the truth is now clear. It was never what I thought it was, it was never going to be that either. It just took me about two years to see that. Sometimes we only see what we want to see.
When one sets off to travel in a manner called backpacking, and with no other plan than to go with the flow, one must also have a certain state of mind. If you want to dive into another world and see it without judgment, feel it without fear, hear it without finding it deafening, taste it without getting sick, in short, just live it, one must have peace of heart. Calmness is necessary as it stills the mind and gives it a platform on which you can walk quietly.
This deep-rooted trust in life is necessary to overcome the society-cultivated fear for all that is unknown. A fear that, if you are not careful, takes hold of your heart and deprives you of your vision and rational thinking.
When I arrived I was euphoric, a few weeks later my first test on this trip came. Everything of material value was stolen from me. Whether it was just a matter of bad luck or stupidity (I'll leave that in the middle) it did get me out of my comfort-zone of illusion. It put me back with my feet on the ground with smack that hurt my entire being. After that everything became blurred by hatred, self-pity, pain from the past and fear of the future and in the present I was constantly balancing on the edge of reason. I spent weeks in what could qualify for paradise but I didn't see it.
I couldn't understand how so much bad luck can happen to one person. Although I am young and healthy and apparently have nothing to complain about, my family is not. If you care about someone than their struggle is your struggle.
As for my own life .. I seem to make the wrong decisions all the time leaving me with an amount of time wasted on things that have appeared not worth fighting for. I have loved deeply and I have believed blindly. It was one way traffic as it appears. I have recently learned a hard truth: people lie. And you never suppose it's those who are closest to you ! They say all the right things to gain their position, then use your kindness as their ammunition, to shoot you down in the name of ambition...
Now I need to learn how to forgive. Him and me.
Calcutta is good for healing. It puts things in perspective when you see my neighbours struggling for their space at night and know that when the rain came in the middle of the night last night, they are running right under my window to find shelter, probably being too late, leaving them to sleep on moist mats under damp blankets. They only eat once and will not take any food from you because their stomachs will grow as will their hunger. But they are lovely people, who work and live like us, fall in love and marry and love their kids like we love ours. They are kind and undemanding, funny and sweet and are always ready to offer you a cup of tea. But when curfew arrives and you have to go back to you room in the hotel you feel uneasy and angry at a world that is big enough for all of us but badly divided by a few of us. Other than that they are just the same.
My travels will take me up north. To the mountains and to fresh air. Closer to Nepal, which I cannot enter because I have no more visa since my passport was stolen. But I will be able to feel it, so close, in the Shiwalik hills at 2200m. Mount Kanchenjunga with his 8591m towers over the valley.
It's the worlds third highest peak. On clear days one can see the Mount Everest as well. Speaking of prominent greatness.
I send you all my love, missing you at times wishing some of you were here to share this beautiful land of extremes with me. One day, one day ....
Love,
Cath
Thursday, March 27, 2008
All these pictures are in the wrong order they actually should be read from down to up if you guys want to get the timing right but I cannot be bothered so here goes..
Calcutta, Victoria Memorial with a beautiful exhabition inside but above all an oase of peace in the middle of this crazy city. The bird flew right at me and missed me by an inch. These freakin crows are everywhere in India I kid you not!
That is that statue on the top of VM. Just showing of my telezoomlens there ... ;-)
Voor An en Laura : think Flair!
Sooooo over the top
Find the Belgian
Just me
People ask me to take pictures of them it is really crazy, this was a sweet young couple that didn't speak one word of English but look how cute!!
Singer Singer Naaimachien !! (speciaal voor An)
I think this is hilarious.. Giere!
Hugely unethical but had to do it. This is one. Don't be fooled they are everywhere and they are really dying in the streets. It is 1000 times worse than this picture can ever tell you...
For the dummies amongst you : green white orange is India's national flag
I kid you not... and this is a light load, sometimes they carry huge amount of bags of whatever BAREFOOT (I cant even walk here barefoot the tarmac is soo hot)
Begging boy funny boy and eager to pose (he blew a gigantic bubblegumball right after!)
Broom anyone?
Twee aaantwaarpeners in Calcutta !!
Begging woman, was smiling untill I got the camera out after her being persistant for about 3 minutes...
The sky from the plane .. where are the CareBears???
Like timemachineflashback to the fifties this was my cab from airport to Salvation Army Hotel in Calcutta. 200Rs (4Euro) for a trip that took about an hour
Hanging around untill customers come ... The smoke in the background is someone lighting a fire to make chai or chapati probably
Crazy traffic
Kiekepoetje iemand?
This was taken in Hampi at a wedding, they wanted me to take their picture. I think this is a beautiful picture!
Find the Belgian! (in Hampi at that same wedding inside the Virupaksha temple)
Lovely smiles
Karnataka woman in her typical dress, she was very sweet
My luxury room in Hyderabad .. just for one night ..
Calcutta, Victoria Memorial with a beautiful exhabition inside but above all an oase of peace in the middle of this crazy city. The bird flew right at me and missed me by an inch. These freakin crows are everywhere in India I kid you not!
That is that statue on the top of VM. Just showing of my telezoomlens there ... ;-)
Voor An en Laura : think Flair!
Sooooo over the top
Find the Belgian
Just me
People ask me to take pictures of them it is really crazy, this was a sweet young couple that didn't speak one word of English but look how cute!!
Singer Singer Naaimachien !! (speciaal voor An)
I think this is hilarious.. Giere!
Hugely unethical but had to do it. This is one. Don't be fooled they are everywhere and they are really dying in the streets. It is 1000 times worse than this picture can ever tell you...
For the dummies amongst you : green white orange is India's national flag
I kid you not... and this is a light load, sometimes they carry huge amount of bags of whatever BAREFOOT (I cant even walk here barefoot the tarmac is soo hot)
Begging boy funny boy and eager to pose (he blew a gigantic bubblegumball right after!)
Broom anyone?
Twee aaantwaarpeners in Calcutta !!
Begging woman, was smiling untill I got the camera out after her being persistant for about 3 minutes...
The sky from the plane .. where are the CareBears???
Like timemachineflashback to the fifties this was my cab from airport to Salvation Army Hotel in Calcutta. 200Rs (4Euro) for a trip that took about an hour
Hanging around untill customers come ... The smoke in the background is someone lighting a fire to make chai or chapati probably
Crazy traffic
Kiekepoetje iemand?
This was taken in Hampi at a wedding, they wanted me to take their picture. I think this is a beautiful picture!
Find the Belgian! (in Hampi at that same wedding inside the Virupaksha temple)
Lovely smiles
Karnataka woman in her typical dress, she was very sweet
My luxury room in Hyderabad .. just for one night ..
Monday, March 24, 2008
Hampi en Holi
Jihaaaoooooo Holi Festival !!
Haha
Lakshmi the temple Elephant at Virupaksha coming back from her daily scrub in the river ...
Madam take my picture !!!
Arab lady in a Rickshaw...
Me at Mango Tree, Hampi, India...
Me and Asha, she is 17 years old and is owner of the guesthouse I stay in together with her mother. Her brother is a Rickshaw driver here in Hampi, her 2 sisters died giving childbirth and her father died 4 years ago. Its a sad story but they are lovely and cheerful people.. and Asha is a beautiful woman..
Bigger than an Olympic swimmingpool, this was the bathing place of the people living in Hampi over 500 years ago
The Holi Procession starts ....
Holi is a festival of radiance (Tej) in the universe. During this festival, different waves of radiance traverse the universe, thereby creating various colours that nourish and complement the function of respective elements in the atmosphere....
Anusha and me
Me being sick in Hampi, with high fevers and vomiting for 12 hrs. No doctor needed but it sure was a walk through hell..
The river next to Hampi is aligned with temples ..
Fishing technique used in this river ..
The Kingfisher Birds astonishes me every time I see it ...
Virupaksha temple in hampi is absolutely mindblowing beautiful!
Find the monkey!
No strawberry, I got blessed!!
Il dolce far niente ... (Murali in the foreground, a friend of a friend)
The Konkan railway ..
My 'private' little space on the top bench of the train ...
Virupaksha temple and holy basin .. (filled with litter)
Byebye!! I am going to Hyderabad tonight on a 10hrs busride. Pray for me!!
Love,
C-S
Haha
Lakshmi the temple Elephant at Virupaksha coming back from her daily scrub in the river ...
Madam take my picture !!!
Arab lady in a Rickshaw...
Me at Mango Tree, Hampi, India...
Me and Asha, she is 17 years old and is owner of the guesthouse I stay in together with her mother. Her brother is a Rickshaw driver here in Hampi, her 2 sisters died giving childbirth and her father died 4 years ago. Its a sad story but they are lovely and cheerful people.. and Asha is a beautiful woman..
Bigger than an Olympic swimmingpool, this was the bathing place of the people living in Hampi over 500 years ago
The Holi Procession starts ....
Holi is a festival of radiance (Tej) in the universe. During this festival, different waves of radiance traverse the universe, thereby creating various colours that nourish and complement the function of respective elements in the atmosphere....
Anusha and me
Me being sick in Hampi, with high fevers and vomiting for 12 hrs. No doctor needed but it sure was a walk through hell..
The river next to Hampi is aligned with temples ..
Fishing technique used in this river ..
The Kingfisher Birds astonishes me every time I see it ...
Virupaksha temple in hampi is absolutely mindblowing beautiful!
Find the monkey!
No strawberry, I got blessed!!
Il dolce far niente ... (Murali in the foreground, a friend of a friend)
The Konkan railway ..
My 'private' little space on the top bench of the train ...
Virupaksha temple and holy basin .. (filled with litter)
Byebye!! I am going to Hyderabad tonight on a 10hrs busride. Pray for me!!
Love,
C-S
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